guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
