I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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