I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
