idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
