Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
