You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
