I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I have post one night stand depression
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
