so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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