I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
