what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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