This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
