That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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