I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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