I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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