Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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