It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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