yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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