My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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