Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
