I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
