We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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