I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
40s are totally the cure
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
