i may or may not be watching the land before time
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
