The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
