When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
