I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
