Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
