so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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