we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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