Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
