You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
