can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
