Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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