dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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