i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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