I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
