she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
