In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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