okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
