Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize