Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
