I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
