i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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