who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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