who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
