butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
