Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
