I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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