the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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