I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
