the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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