hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
