You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
